Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
