some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
