Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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