Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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