I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
