Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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