Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
