Whod you bang
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
