Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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