it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
