either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
