Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
