My room smells like vodka and shame
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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