I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
