Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
