Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
