I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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