real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
