I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
