We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
