only if we run a train.
done.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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