kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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