your thong is hanging out like whoa
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
