I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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