3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
