So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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