You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
