Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
