pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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