you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
