when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I bet he comes in French.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
