Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
