seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
