Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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