Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
