wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my sisters under your porch take her home
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
