is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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