that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
