i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
