I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
