are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
