My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
