i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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