He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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