He is an equal opportunity slut.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
