So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
