TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
