Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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