btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
