Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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